I wanted to write to me a bit so that you too my sisters to read and understand Inshallah. Since I know some of you are doing this as I have now left. I have left Mr. Jackson. Unfortunately, he took over my life and Shayta astagvirlillah took me hard here. Shaytan knows their plans and how he should use them. But for me he got me, astagvurlillah of Michael's death.
SubanAllah I started to let me listen to the whisperings of Shaytan "Meddie, how do you let Michael be now that he is dead, how do you know that he may rest in the grave? You know, it's not even if it is true if he was Muslim. What if he died as a Kaffir? How will Michael did not have the tomb, then? You must do something about it, find the truth about him.
So you and your sisters know and can do Duha for him, otherwise you will not be there for him if he was not Muslim. " So I fell for Shaytan whispers. I opened a blog for Michael, astagvurlillah. Ya Allah, please forgive me! Ameen. I seemed to have the right to sit and pry into the dead man's life, and that's not all. I think I have the right to snoop in his faith and connect with Allah (SWA)!
SubanAllah here is a man who became known through the media, but have tried to live as much as he could privately for many years from the public. Not only that. He never went out with that he was a Muslim, and even after his death so his family is hiding there. SubanAllah. So how can I Anns me the right to show the world that Michael was a Muslim or not?
When ANS is not Michael himself wanted to go out with it? Or his family. That he wanted to have between themselves and their Creator (God). Not only that, I sat and read the gossip every day in the media is haram! And I put it on my blog with. I do not think that Michel was in itself a great sinner as some claim, but what I did was just my own mistakes and listen to Shaytan.
And NOT Michael. just wanted to make it clear. May he rest in peace! Ameen. Since it took over. I became addicted, obsessed. I barely slept at night. Woke up early in the morning to throw myself over it and fills me with Michel and his death and his life, and not talking about finding evidence of his conversion to Islam. I left Islam more and more, was not previously. Shaytan came back to me, "Meddie what folks now think that Michael may have been a Muslim, wear it, do dawah of Michel!"
Astagvurlillah .. And I listened .. Stupid as I am. For a moment I felt also that nothing matters more than Michael, NO! Astagvurlillah. Since we are not talking about how Shaytan did with me in my grieving. I mourned Michael although I do not know what it is even more than when my dad died! To put this sadness that Shaytan did in me, to make me weak subanAllah!
This made Shaytan with me before Ramadan. Then he had me down. I wasted my time in Ramadna serve Michael and not Allah (SWA). And remember during Ramadan is the major Shaytan inlåste and I was misled, subanAllah. How would it have been with me after Ramadan, when the Great Shaytan comes out again? May Allah protect us from Shaytan whispers and give us strong Iman (faith in Allah, SWA)
I started walking from Allah's way more and more. Allah's way with me that this was wrong. But I did not want to listen to my nefs (ego) would go with Michael, because nobody knew Mchael like me, I considered myself .. Then my husband, may Allah reward him and told the truth for me.
Not only that Allah also sent a sister who said the same thing for me that Allah had put in my heart, but I did not want to listen, and then two people who are not even aware of each other. Hey, I thought how much more I have been signs from Allah (SWA) what I do with Michael IS WRONG wrong! Subanallah so I left everything. When I had everything explained to me that this sad and everything is from the Shaytan, Allahamdulillah Allahu Akbar, who disappeared instantly. And my fear of Allah (SWA) took over. So I have left everything.
Shutting down the blog away from all the groups and Michael did repentance to Allah (SWA)! And Inshallah I will be a better Muslim and wasting my time for Allah (SWA) in place and His Prophet (saws) and search for information about them.
For wallahi if I had died like this, had the gates of hell opened up for me. Allah would send me in there with all that I had brought with me through my blog and spy on Michael! Ya Allah forgive me for my blind! Alhamdulillah, you struck me down in my head as I realized what I did was wrong!
And thanks for sending my sister and this to me!
For my sisters, we must really suit us from the whisperings of Shaytan. Believe me he has his methods and tricks. I had such a strong mist (faith in Allah, SWA) Shaytan pulled the rug for under my feet and I fell ordengligt.
May Allah be with you all and fight for yours, Iman and worship to Allah SWA, trust me when I say this: The doomsday, we are in front of Allah itself, where we do not care about our own mother or brother. So Michael will help us there, or is it the Prophet (saws) who will be there?
Peace be with you! And I love you all just for Allah (SWA) sake!
Your´s sister Meddie